Self-compassion is a term often heard in conversations when discussing well-being and self-care. But what do we really mean when we talk about self-compassion? How does self-compassion relate to healing following road trauma?
What Is Self-Compassion?
Self-compassion is defined as the way we relate to ourselves with validation and care, especially during times of distress. Rather than being critical of ourselves, it refers to acknowledging and responding to our pain with kindness.
According to Dr Kristin Neff, a leading researcher in the field of compassion, it is important to treat ourselves with kindness and support that we would offer a friend during challenging times.
Why is Self-Compassion Important Following Road Trauma?
Being involved in or affected by a road crash can be distressing and disorienting. You may experience a range of responses including fear, guilt, shame, anxiety, or anger, all of which are valid. Based on recent literature, self-compassion has been shown to support recovery by:
- Reducing the use of harmful coping strategies: Studies suggest engaging in self-compassion lowers feelings of denial, self-blame, avoidance, distraction and substance misuse, which some individuals utilise as a coping strategy following trauma.
- Reducing feeling of shame: Often following trauma, individuals may experience symptoms including shame. Studies have shown self-compassion significantly reduces individuals shame following traumatic events.
By approaching ourselves with kindness and compassion, we can reduce unnecessary emotional suffering and begin to rebuild a sense of safety and control.
How to Engage in Self-compassion:
There are many practical tasks that you can adopt into your daily life to become more compassionate to yourself. Below are a few you may like to try, which have been derived from Dr Neff’s concept of self-compassion.
1. Self-Compassionate Journalling
Firstly, ensure that you are able to set aside time for yourself, whether that is two or twenty minutes. The purpose of self-compassionate journalling is to connect with the compassionate part of yourself. Remember you should not have to force yourself through this exercise. When connecting or writing from your compassionate self, you may use prompts such as:
- How can I be kinder to myself today?
- What are five things I appreciate about myself?
- What am I truly grateful for currently?
2. Compassionate Imagery
Compassionate imagery involves closing your eyes for a few moments, imagining a safe and comforting environment. This might be a park, the beach, a favourite room or a soothing memory. Let the image evoke feelings for you. With this exercise, try to engage your senses, what do you see, hear or smell in the image?
3. Taking a Self-Compassionate Break
There is a lot of power in taking a few moments to yourself each day. Dr Kristen Neff recommends the following steps during time of stress:
- Finding a quiet space bringing your mind to a current source of stress in your life.
- Acknowledge the current stress or emotional pain by stating “this is a moment of suffering.”
- Remind yourself, “Suffering is a human experience.”
- Kindly ask yourself “what do I need right now?”, “what do I need to hear right now?” Or “what would help me in this moment?”
4. Identifying What You Need in the Moment
Similar to the self-compassion break, you can take a few moments to focus on your breath and question in the moment What am I feeling right now? What do I need? Perhaps you require support from a friend, loved one or extra time to rest. Allow space for yourself to feel this way.
You’re not alone
For further information on self-compassion following trauma, please review the articles listed in the reference list below.
References
Ewert, C., Vater, A., & Schröder-Abé, M. (2021). Self-Compassion and Coping: a Meta-Analysis. Mindfulness, 12(5), 1063–1077. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-020-01563-8
Kummar, A. S., Correia, H. M., Tan, J. H., & Fujiyama, H. (2023). An 8-week compassion and mindfulness–based exposure therapy program improves posttraumatic stress symptoms. Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy, 31(1). https://doi.org/10.1002/cpp.2929
MacBeth, A., & Gumley, A. (2012). Exploring compassion: A meta-analysis of the association between self-compassion and psychopathology. Clinical Psychology Review, 32(6), 545–552. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2012.06.003
Winders, S., Murphy, O., Looney, K., & O’Reilly, G. (2020). Self‐compassion, trauma, and posttraumatic stress disorder: A systematic review. Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy, 27(3), 300–329. https://doi.org/10.1002/cpp.2429