Supporting someone after a road crash can feel daunting. You might worry about saying the wrong thing or accidentally causing more distress. These feelings are completely normal. Many people — whether they’re loved ones, first responders or health professionals — struggle to know how to begin such an important conversation.
What matters most is your intention. When someone has experienced trauma or grief, connection is powerful. Checking in and gently offering support can make a real difference, especially if they may benefit from additional psychological help.
There’s no perfect way to start this kind of conversation, and that’s okay.
The important thing is showing up with care.
“Where do I even start?” – Start with yourself.
Before beginning the conversation, check in with yourself and how you are feeling. Being calm, grounded and present helps you to offer the support and time the person may need.
It can help to prepare:
- Support options or resources you can gently mention if they decide they want additional help
- A suitable environment – ideally a quiet, private, comfortable place where they feel safe to talk openly
You won’t always be able to control every element, and that’s okay. Preparing as best you can helps set the stage for a supportive, compassionate conversation.
“What do I even say to them?”
There is no script you must follow. The simple fact that you care enough to reach out is meaningful and often reassuring.
Below are some helpful ways to approach the conversation.
Body language and non‑verbal support – try the following:
- Sit beside them and slightly angled to reduce the sense of formality
- Keep your posture open and relaxed
- Use gentle eye contact when appropriate
- Gentle nodding can show understanding and help the person feel supported
These little signals help the person feel safe and supported.
Verbal communication:
Start slowly. You don’t have to ask about the incident immediately. Light, friendly conversation can ease into deeper topics.
When you do check in, simple questions work well:
- “How have you been since…?”
- “Is there anything I can do to support you?”
Focus on listening – Reflecting their words back can help them feel heard.
Things to keep in mind:
- Avoid interrupting or rushing. Silence can feel uncomfortable, but it can also give them space to gather their thoughts.
- Try to stay calm and steady in your responses. You can acknowledge grief or loss with simple statements such as “I’m sorry for your loss” or “I’m here to support you.”
Remember: you initiated this conversation because you care. Trust that your genuine compassion will come through.
If you’re concerned, it’s okay to say so gently. This is where you can share those resource options you gathered earlier. If the conversation relates to road trauma, you can offer our information about available counselling services or help them complete a referral form through our website.
“What If they’re not ready for support”
They may not want to access support right away and that’s completely normal. People seek help at different times, and the best thing you can do is respect their pace.
Let them know you’re there if anything changes. A gentle follow‑up later can remind them that your care is ongoing and not conditional. Checking in is a meaningful way to continue offering support.
A final reminder
You don’t need perfect words.
Your presence, patience and willingness to listen can be incredibly healing for someone navigating the aftermath of road trauma.
Need help having a supportive conversations with someone after road trauma?
Our supportive conversations factsheet is now available here.
Additional Resources:
RUOK? – https://www.ruok.org.au/how-to-ask
Beyond Blue – https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/support-someone/how-to-talk-to-someone-about-their-mental-health
The Black Dog Institute – https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/emergency-help/helping-someone-else/
Headspace – https://headspace.org.au/explore-topics/for-young-people/help-a-friend/