Children grieve differently to adults and their understanding of death changes as they grow and develop. With sensitive and caring support from the adults in their lives, children can usually adjust well.
How children grieve
Children experience many of the same emotions as adults following the death of someone important to them. However, they may express grief differently.
Unlike adults, children often move in and out of their grief. For example: their grief may not be constant, it may come in bursts. Sometimes it may look like the child isn’t affected at all. This does not mean they are unaffected by the loss. It is simply one way children process grief.
Children may express their grief through their feelings, behaviour, physical reactions, play, drawings or conversations. Common reactions may include:
- Feelings: sadness, fear, anxiety, anger, confusion or guilt
- Behaviour: becoming clingy, emotional outbursts, acting younger than their age, withdrawing from others, or repeatedly talking about the loss.
- Behaviour: becoming clingy, emotional outbursts, acting younger than their age, withdrawing from others, or repeatedly talking about the loss.
- Physical: difficulty sleeping, changes in appetite, poor concentration, headaches, stomach aches, or fatigue.
Questions children may ask
As children try to make sense of what has happened, they may ask many questions about death and what it means.
Thee questions are a normal part of a child’s grieving process and will vary depending on their age and developmental stage. They may ask:
- “Does one death lead to another?”
- “Will I lose other people I know?”
- “Am I in danger of dying?”
- “Did I do something bad / wrong that caused the death?”
- “Where has the dead person gone?”
- “When will they return?”
- “Is it painful to be cremated?”
These questions are a normal part of a child’s grieving process.
How you can help a child after road trauma:
When to seek help
- Grief behaviours that become very repetitive or last more than a few months.
- Ongoing physical symptoms.
- Exhibiting self-harm or harming others.
- Signs of depression – such as no longer caring about anything, no energy for activities, withdrawal or frequent crying.
Who can help?
If you are concerned about a child in your care, you can see support from your General Practitioner (GP), School Psychologist/Counsellor or Road Trauma Support WA (RTSWA).
Your GP can refer you to a local Counsellor or Psychologist who specialises in grief and/or trauma for young people. You can also contact RTSWA to see what support is available for young people and make appointment to see one of our counsellors.
RTSWA can support children aged 13 years or older. If a child is under 13 years of age, we can support those caring for them.
